Communication comes from 3 areas inside of ourselves. We have physiology, tonality and our words … and all of those contribute to the meaning of our communication.
In fact, a study done by a gentleman in the University of Pennsylvania, I believe it was in the 1970s suggested that 55% of the meaning of our communication comes from physiology, 38% of it comes from a tonality that we used (tonality is the way that we used our voice and the tone of voice) and then 7% is from the actual words that we use.
So we need to recognize that the majority of the meaning of our conversation is coming from non-verbal means – totally non-verbal means.
The final 7% of your communication comes from the words you use. You can see now how your words are the least important aspect of communication… so building great rapport means more attention to your physiology and tonality and less to choosing the right words.
Learning how to recognize these subtle communication aspects will help you connect and build rapport in your 1:1 conversations. It’s worth practising with a friend… see if they pick up on any of your unconscious, negative habits that may affect the way you are perceived by others.